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The Errand Hang: The Underrated Grief Support Tool You Didn't Know You Needed

unboxedgrief

Grief can be overwhelming, unpredictable, and downright exhausting.  It’s one of those universal human experiences where, no matter how well-meaning people are, they often struggle to know how to help someone who is grieving.  Enter The Errand Hang—a brilliantly simple yet effective support tool that’s perfect for when your friend is grieving but doesn’t need another “How are you?” text or a casserole they don’t want to eat.


What Is Errand Hang?

The Errand Hang is precisely what it sounds like you hang out with your grieving friend while they run errands, but it’s so much more than just a trip to the grocery store.  It’s an opportunity to provide companionship without the pressure of a formal sit-down or deep conversation.  Think of it as grief support disguised as productivity.

Instead of inviting your friend for coffee or offering the vague "let me know if you need anything," the Errand Hang offers tangible help.  You show up, you accompany them on their everyday tasks, and—bonus!—you provide a safe, non-judgmental presence while life moves forward in little ways.





The Purpose of the Errand Hang

Grief can make even the smallest of tasks feel monumental.  Going to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription or restocking the fridge can be overwhelming when your heart is heavy.  The Errand Hang helps to:

  1. Reduce isolation: Sometimes, when people are grieving, they retreat into their sadness, feeling disconnected from the world.  Running errands with a friend offers a subtle way to reconnect without forcing heavy conversations.

  2. Make the mundane easier: Grocery shopping may seem trivial, but when you’re grieving, even deciding between cereal brands can feel like the world’s hardest choice.  Having someone with you who can help ease those everyday burdens makes a world of difference.

  3. Provide emotional and logistical support: Your presence alone can help your friend feel grounded.  Plus, if they need a hand carrying things or have forgotten their list (because, you know, grief brain is real), you’re there to back them up.

  4. Respect their emotional bandwidth: Not every grieving person wants to talk about their feelings all the time.  T

  5. he Errand Hang lets them be as open or as closed off as they need to be, without the pressure of being “on.”


Why Is Errand Hang Important?

Grief has a way of making everything harder—emotionally, mentally, and even physically.  One study highlights that grief-related stress can lead to fatigue, decreased immune function, and other physical symptoms (Harvard Health Publishing, 2022).  So, while we often think of grief as an emotional state, it affects the whole body.  That's why offering simple, practical support through something as low-stakes as running errands can have an outsized impact.

Moreover, research shows that social support is a critical buffer against the negative effects of grief (Stroebe, Schut, & Stroebe, 2007).  But not everyone knows how to be supportive.  The Errand Hang provides a framework for helping in a non-intrusive way.  By doing something ordinary, you help your grieving friend take care of themselves without turning the interaction into a therapy session.


How to Execute the Errand Hang Flawlessly

Now that you know the why behind the Errand Hang, let’s talk about the how.  Here are a few tips to nail this subtle form of grief support:

  1. Offer specific help: Don’t ask, “Do you need anything?” Instead, say something like, “Hey, I’m free Thursday morning—want some company while you run errands?” Being specific takes the burden off your grieving friend to figure out what they need.

  2. Respect their energy levels: Sometimes your friend may not have the energy to hang out, even if it’s just for a grocery run.  That’s okay.  Be flexible, and if they cancel, don’t take it personally.

  3. Keep the vibe light: This is not the time to dig into their deepest feelings unless they bring it up.  Feel free to chat about life, share funny stories, or just embrace the quiet if that’s what they need.

  4. Be prepared to help, but not take over: It’s not your job to do everything for your grieving friend.  The beauty of the Errand Hang is that you’re supporting them while they take care of their own needs.  If they ask for help with a task, by all means, pitch in.  But you’re there as a companion, not a caretaker.

  5. Know when to step back: Sometimes, grief ebbs and flows during the most mundane moments.  Your friend might start to feel emotional halfway through Target.  If this happens, be kind, give them space, and follow their lead.



The Errand Hang is a gentle but powerful way to support someone through grief.  It’s not a grand gesture, but it can make a significant impact by helping your friend feel connected, capable, and seen.  Plus, you both get to check some items off the to-do list!  It’s a win-win.

So, the next time you wonder how to support someone who’s grieving, skip the casseroles and suggest an Errand Hang instead.  You might just find that this humble approach is exactly what they need.

 

 

 



At Unboxed Grief, we understand that grief is a deeply personal journey, and no two paths look the same.  That's why we offer grief support groups and 1:1 sessions to walk alongside you, helping you navigate the ups, downs, and everything in between.  We’d be honored to be a part of your healing process, offering a compassionate, non-judgmental space where you can feel heard and supported.  As Ram Dass so beautifully said, "We're all just walking each other home," and we’re here to be that steady companion, offering warmth and guidance as you take each step forward.


 Disclaimer: The author of this blog is not a licensed practitioner, therapist, or medical doctor.  The information provided is based on research and personal experience and is intended for informational and supportive purposes only.  If you are experiencing physical or emotional symptoms of grief that are impacting your health, we strongly recommend consulting with a licensed healthcare provider, therapist, or medical professional for clinical evaluation and appropriate intervention.  Always seek professional advice before making decisions regarding your mental or physical well-being.

 

 

 

 

 

References

Harvard Health Publishing.  (2022).  The health consequences of grief.  Harvard Medical Schoolhttps://www.health.harvard.edu/mental-health/the-health-consequences-of-grief

Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Stroebe, W. (2007).  Health outcomes of bereavement.  Lancet, 370(9603), 1960-1973.  https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(07)61816-9

 

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