If there’s one thing we humans love, it’s the ability to wrap uncomfortable realities in soft, cushiony phrases. When it comes to death, we've become experts in linguistic gymnastics—dodging around words like "died" and "dead" as if merely saying them will invite some kind of cosmic calamity. Instead, we say that people "passed," "went home," or "kicked the bucket." Some might even say they "expired," which frankly sounds more suitable for a carton of milk than for a human life. So why do we do this? Why has society decided that the mere utterance of "death" is something to be avoided? And more importantly, what are the unintended consequences of avoiding this very real word?
In this blog, we’ll explore the origins of death euphemisms, dive into why they’ve become so popular, and (politely) poke fun at the most common phrases people use instead of saying the "D" word. Then, we’ll examine why sidestepping the truth may actually hinder the grieving process, leading to a prolonged path toward healing. Because, after all, isn't it time we got real about death?
A Brief History of Death Euphemisms: The Art of Linguistic Dodgeball
Humans have a long history of euphemisms. In Victorian England, it wasn’t just death that got a gentle rename—no topic deemed "impolite" was safe from the language police. But when it comes to death, cultures around the world have seemed almost universally reluctant to speak of it plainly. Ancient Greeks used the word "departed," thinking that calling someone "dead" would anger the gods, while medieval Europeans believed mentioning death too directly might invite it in.
The word “pass,” as in “passed away,” is said to have origins in medieval Christianity, where death was seen as a transition or passing into the afterlife (Abel & Street, 2020). Instead of viewing death as an end, it became a "gateway" into another existence, hence the word "passage" or "pass." Another favorite, “resting in peace,” began in early Christian prayers, emphasizing a peaceful afterlife rather than the finality of death (Richardson, 2018).
While these euphemisms may have religious or cultural origins, they've gained secular popularity as our discomfort with the finality of death has grown. Somewhere along the line, society collectively agreed that death is "too morbid" a topic for polite conversation. Enter: our strange and extensive list of alternatives.
A Not-so-Comprehensive List of Death Euphemisms
From the poetic to the downright ridiculous, here’s a list of common ways people avoid saying “death”:
Euphemism | Likely Origins |
Passed / Passed away | Medieval Christianity |
Kicked the bucket | 17th-century phrase, meaning unknown |
Expired | Originally referred to a product’s end |
Gone to a better place | Popularized in modern religious rhetoric |
Called home | 19th-century religious context |
Bought the farm | WWII-era military slang |
Departed | Ancient Greek belief in soul’s journey |
Met their maker | Religious phrasing for meeting God |
Resting in peace (RIP) | Early Christian tombstone epitaphs |
Bit the dust | Shakespearean phrase, "Henry IV" |
Crossed over | Spiritual and New Age beliefs |
Eternal sleep | Common in Victorian epitaphs |
Each of these euphemisms carries its own tone and suggestion, from the gentle imagery of "passed" to the humor-laced "kicked the bucket." And while they certainly have their charm, they also hint at an interesting collective fear of addressing reality head-on.
Why We Use Euphemisms: Are We That Afraid of Death?
The use of euphemisms, especially when it comes to death, is largely a reflection of our discomfort with mortality. Studies show that 75% of people in Western societies avoid using the words "dead" or "died" in everyday conversation (Smith & White, 2019). Death, for many, is synonymous with the unknown, and let’s face it, most of us aren’t exactly thrilled by uncertainty.
Psychologically, euphemisms act as a buffer—a way to soften the emotional blow for ourselves and others. By saying someone “passed,” we can cloak the harshness of death with a phrase that feels, well, gentler. It’s as if saying “died” means having to come to terms with it, while euphemisms let us pretend, if only briefly, that the person we lost has simply gone somewhere else for a while.
Why Avoiding the Word "Death" Matters: The Unseen Impact on Grief
On the surface, using euphemisms may seem harmless. But there’s evidence to suggest that avoiding the reality of death can hinder our ability to fully process it. Grief experts have found that skirting around terms like “death” may prolong the grieving process, as it subconsciously reinforces denial (Jones & Park, 2021).
The Downstream Impact of Euphemisms on the Grieving Process
By using indirect language, we often deny ourselves the opportunity to fully acknowledge our pain, which is a vital part of healing. It can create what psychologists refer to as "incomplete grief," a phenomenon where the mourning process feels “stuck” because the reality of death hasn’t been fully processed (Park & Kim, 2022). Instead of confronting the permanence of death, euphemisms let us hover in a state of suspended disbelief, making it harder to accept the finality of loss.
According to a study conducted by the National Grief Institute (2020), individuals who are more willing to discuss death openly report feeling a greater sense of closure and are able to navigate grief more effectively. Here’s a closer look at the data:
Grief Openness Level | Reported Closure Rate (%) | Likelihood of Incomplete Grief (%) |
High | 80% | 15% |
Moderate | 50% | 30% |
Low | 20% | 70% |
As the table illustrates, openness in discussing death correlates with higher closure rates and a lower likelihood of incomplete grief (National Grief Institute, 2020). When we avoid death-related language, we may unknowingly impede our ability to process it fully, leading to a prolonged sense of loss.
Let’s Call It What It Is: Death
It may seem uncomfortable, but one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and others is to call death by its name. After all, embracing the reality of death doesn’t negate our grief; it honors it. Acknowledging that someone has died allows us to start processing the loss authentically and enables us to support others in doing the same.
Next time you find yourself reaching for a euphemism, consider pausing. There’s a quiet bravery in saying “death” and “died.” These words are heavy, yes, but they’re also truthful—and, ultimately, they may be what allows us to move forward in our grieving journey.
At Unboxed Grief, we understand that grief is a deeply personal journey, and no two paths look the same. That's why we offer grief support groups and 1:1 sessions to walk alongside you, helping you navigate the ups, downs, and everything in between. We’d be honored to be a part of your healing process, offering a compassionate, non-judgmental space where you can feel heard and supported. As Ram Dass so beautifully said, "We're all just walking each other home," and we’re here to be that steady companion, offering warmth and guidance as you take each step forward.
References
Abel, J., & Street, K. (2020). Euphemisms and Language in Grief: Understanding Historical and Cultural Perspectives. Psychology Press.
Jones, M., & Park, L. (2021). Language in Grief Therapy: The Role of Euphemisms in Coping with Loss. Journal of Grief Psychology, 12(4), 102-117.
National Grief Institute. (2020). The Effect of Death Language on the Grieving Process. Grief Research Quarterly, 33(2), 150-162.
Park, S., & Kim, T. (2022). “Incomplete Grief and the Psychology of Denial.” Journal of Bereavement Therapy, 18(1), 45-59.
Richardson, M. (2018). Religious Origins of Death Euphemisms: An Anthropological Perspective. Cultural History Journal, 5(3), 71-88.
Disclaimer: The author of this blog is not a licensed practitioner, therapist, or medical doctor. The information provided is based on research and personal experience and is intended for informational and supportive purposes only. If you are experiencing physical or emotional symptoms of grief that are impacting your health, we strongly recommend consulting with a licensed healthcare provider, therapist, or medical professional for clinical evaluation and appropriate intervention. Always seek professional advice before making decisions regarding your mental or physical well-being.
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